Friday, December 16, 2011

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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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    Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis
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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis



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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote
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    It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons.  ~Johann Schiller
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim
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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller
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    Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing



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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn
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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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    I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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    The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.  ~Jerry M. Wright
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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis


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    Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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    Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni
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    Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis
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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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    May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown




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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope
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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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    Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year:  The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.  ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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    A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown
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    Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw
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    Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons
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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown
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    Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope



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